Retro Review Tuesday: Halloween and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Atari

Today's retro review will be an extra special super vintage Atari double feature dedicated to the two releases by the short lived games division of Wizard Video, Halloween and the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Introduction

It's a common cliche. "It's so bad it's almost good." Maybe that's not quite what describes Halloween on the Atari 2600. But something makes us keep coming back to it. Perhaps it's the repetitive music, the amusing death scenes, the character designs or maybe just the captivation of seeking an end to one of an entire generation of games not exactly known for having one.

Overvew

Michael Myers is loose in the house. You must run from this pixelated maniac and avoid his "attacks" until you can find the weapon and...well, you don't really stop him, you just...poke him and he...runs away. Then he comes back. Faster. Perhaps you...shouldn't have done that.

The controls are simple. If you're lucky enough to be enjoying this piece of work with a joystick then it's as simple as push up to move up, pull back for down, left goes left, right goes right and you can even move diagonally, Fancy! You can push the button to perform actions like controlling and using the weapon or drag one of the kids along as bait. (If you're on an emulator then it's whatever you set the controls to) Overall, the function doesn't seem to be too bad.

The graphics of the game are Atari graphics. What else can be said. Your character does manage to be clearly female, however, and everything is reasonably distinguishable. You can even tell that your lives are represented by what are supposed to be pumpkins.

The music is...yeah, get used to the music. The classic score from the Halloween series plays every time you see Michael Myers on the screen (And you'll see him on just about every single screen). Although when he's not yet present the lack of music can almost be seen as...eerie?

Gameplay

You start off inside the corridor of a "house" consisting of a random collection of hallways. Right away, Michael will come after you, just stabbing his "knife" over and over. Contain your laughter, (although, really...just look at that) and run to either end of the screen to switch areas. Unless you're at the end of a hallway, Michael will appear in the next area and just about everywhere you go. Some areas will have a "door" you can run through to change areas of the house or you can change floors by going through the doors at the hallway ends. Some uppers rooms flash from light to dark, blinding you to your own whereabouts and the position of Michael, often proving to be problematic for you, if not fatal.

The game can actually manage to "scare" you since Michael doesn't always appear at the same time, or from the same areas. He can appear from the right, from the left, or even from a doorway, and this can cause you to jump a little, especially if you're heading in that direction. It's especially bad in flashing room where it's difficult to tell where your own character is.

Ultimately the goal is to lead the children you're babysitting to the safe rooms, the ends of the hall. The truly glorious thing about this is that Michael seems to be more interesting in killing them than you. Sure, perhaps that's not how it works in the actual series, but who's to prove if your character is even Laurie? Frankly I've taken to calling her Connie just for the hell of it. Maybe it says for certain in the booklet who exactly Connie/Laurie/Ms.Feminine pixels is, but I don't have that luxury. Anyway, by pushing the button, you can take children with you or just use them as bait to distract Michael while you haul ass out of there. This becomes especially useful the further you get in the game. When Michael touches them, he decapitates them so you lose a chance to save one but it's better their heads than yours. The hardest part will be trying not to laugh, and leaving the area.

Additionally, you're looking for the "weapon" to use against Michael so that you may gain points. What kind of weapon is it? Who knows. Maybe you see a knife. Maybe you see a hammer. Maybe you're something of a cynic and just see a collection of black pixels, but at any rate, when you find this item, you push the button while standing over it to pick it up. Then, once you encounter Michael again, you wait until he's just about on top of you, and push the button to "thrust" your weapon, giving him a real mean poking, and he'll run away until...you change rooms. Do this twice or save enough children and you'll go up a level. Meaning when you see him again, he'll be faster. Eventually, he'll get so fast that he matches your speed and you can no longer outrun him, just avoid touching him.

Should you let ol' Stabby get too close, before you know what could have possibly actually happened in your altercation, you'll find yourself headless, with delightful little "blood" pixels erupting from your neck. Not unlike a beheaded chicken, you run away, seemingly in distress, off the screen. You've now lost a life. .You repeat this process until you lose all three. Then the game is over, and there's nothing else to do now but reflect upon this interesting little experience. If there's an end other that to this game, most people, including us, wouldn't know about it.

Conclusion

If you're a horror fan, a retro-gaming fan, or like me, both, then honestly, this is a must have for your own Collection of Geekery. However, this game is incredibly rare, and expensive for just a used, boxless copy. So it would be unrealistic for me to tell you to go buy it. However, if you've got a computer (and I have it under decent authority that you do) you just may want to download this oddity. It's certainly one hell of a novelty, and it's hard not to somehow enjoy it.

~RM

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Introduction

Even back in 1983 companies were trying to bombard consumers with different incarnations of their franchises by marketing shoddy poorly conceived merchandise. Wizard Video was no different. Being the original home video distributors of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre they thought it would be a great money maker to introduce their film and themselves to the budding video game market. The result was not well received by most consumers but it was innovative. It brought the first horror video game into the home market, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

Overview

In a role reversal from most of the survival horror games of today, you play as Leatherface, the terrifying chainsaw wielding nutjob. Your goal is simple, to kill as many screaming Texan women as possible before you run out of gas.

Controls are simple, it is an Atari joystick after all. But, it's still got everything you need to be a killing machine. You move up down left and right with the joystick and run the chainsaw with the button.

Soundwise it's pretty standard for the Atari. There's the sound of Leatherface walking, the sound of firing up your chainsaw, the shrill beep (scream) of a potential victim and the sound of a triumphant kill.

Graphically, once again, it's an Atari game, you can't expect much if you're used to all sorts of newfangled 3d rendered perfectly polished games. But for the time period they were pretty good. Everything is easily recognizable from the girls, to the cow skulls to the truck in the background. There's even enough detail on Leatherface to give him a grimace. My only real complaint here is that Leatherface's chainsaw is the saw color as his body leaving things open to some rather unwholesome conclusions.

Gameplay

The game starts of with you as Leatherface out in the Texas countryside looking for fresh young victims. You can walk either left or right seeking your prey. You'll know you've found one when you hear the extremely shrill beep to signify their screams. You're faster than they are so if you just keep up the chase you'll eventually get close enough to use the chainsaw leaving a bloodied corpse in your wake. Though you'd better enjoy it in the moment because it disappears pretty quickly leaving you to wander off looking for another victim to quench your blood lust.

This sounds pretty easy so far, but it wouldn't be much of a game without a few obstacles to overcome. The first of which is gas, your chainsaw uses a bit of gas while you're just standing around letting it idle and it uses considerably more every time you fire it up. Leatherface can only carry enough for three refills so no matter how important it makes you feel, it's best not to leave the chainsaw running when you're not using it on some poor woman.

The Second problem is that on your way to the fresh meat you'll have to avoid fences, bushes cow skulls and wheelchairs (one has to wonder if the developers of the silent hill series started off their young lives playing this game). If you run into one of these obstacles you'll have to use your all purpose handy dandy chainsaw to cut it out of the way using some of your precious gas in the process.

The final obstacles is your victims themselves. The women will try to dodge you when you get close and will change directions, suddenly appearing on the other side of you This is not only annoying, but a big gas waster. The women in pink seem to be slightly more prone to doing this effectively.

Once you've used up all your gas by either slaughtering victims or cow skulls, the screen goes black and Leatherface is left with a useless chainsaw. Meaning Leatherface himself is totally powerless. While a stationary useless Leatherface sits on screen grimacing off into oblivion one of his potential victims comes up behind him and gives him a sift kick ending the game.

Conclusion

While wantonly killing is fun and a great stress reliever for a short period, it gets pretty old pretty quickly unless you've got friends to play and compare scores with. Playing it makes it pretty clear that it wasn't ever supposed to be a great video game, only a great marketing ploy.
However while not the best Atari game you can play, not by a long shot, this game has earned is place in the annals of classic gaming for it's unique "killer perspective" and bringing video game horror into the home.

~Stephanie

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Collection Oddities: Sailor Moon Magic Mirror

For today's collection oddity I thought really long and hard about what could possibly compete with Link in terms of a horrifying item to showcase. Perhaps unsurprisingly I settled on another horrible Irwin Idea. This time is was the Magic Mirror.

First off I have to apologize normally when I do one of these I have a boxed item in hand so I can make fun of examine and critique the box art and blurbs too. This time I don't have that. We did have a boxed one of these at one time, but sold it once we got an unboxed one. We're deboxers anyway, but our inner geeks shout at us not to ruin original packaging if at all possible so we sent the mint condition one on to some other moonie. The sad part of this tale is that when we sold it I only photographed the front of the box so I have no idea what the back said. It's sad but we'll have to move on. So let's take a look at the front of the box.


At first glance you might have thought Irwin had intended to make Neptune's mirror and just royally screwed up the design. Upon closer inspection you realize this is yet another one of those "someone at Irwin is taking mushrooms" type of items. With that in mind let's took a closer look.

Standard Irwin Canada dark blue packaging with a pink ribbon displaying the title in both English and French. Though non standard is that this little girl actually looks kind of pleased with her item and doesn't really look like she's going to eat your soul which is an oddity in of it self. The packaging also offers accesses to the star shaped button and shows you what the scouts say in case the battery isn't working. (which once you've heard it I think everyone can agree would be the best case scenario) Normally we'd take a look at the back, but like I said previously, I didn't think to take a picture of the back before selling it. :( However, I'm used to seeing awful Irwin toys now though so I think I can just make it up.

Get ready for a Magical Experience with your very own Sailor Moon Magic Mirror! Look inside the mirror and press the button for an explosion of colors, lights and sounds! The Sailor Scouts will be right there staring back at you (it's not creepy really!) and using the phrases you love from the series! You'll never be lonely with the Sailor Moon Magic Mirror!

There that totally sounds likes some crap Irwin would slap on the box doesn't it? We didn't even need the back of the box! Of course we want to open the box now it just seems like such a perfectly legitimate and interesting sailor moon item we just can't wait to get it open right?


So out of the box it's pretty normal looking, pink and yellow plastic with little multicolored jewels around it. The mirror surface is a bit cloudy, but not bad for a toy. Let's check the back:


Nothing out of the ordinary here, yellow plastic a speaker, a battery compartment and the sailor moon logo. Good thing to logo is there, if anyone tried to harass you about having a crappy toy that was in no way affiliated with sailor moon you could just flip it over and show 'em your logo, that'll shut them up. But hey, where are those scouts the box talked about? I don't see them. Wait a minute maybe I have to press the little star button on he front side, the one that beckoned me with "try me!" on the front of the package. Do you dare to press the button?







So if you watched that video (my apologies for being unable to keep my hands steady) you understand why I really couldn't have explained the horror to you in any words I'm familiar with. Like the English music/voice acting wasn't bad enough on it's own now it's in even lower quality coming out of a tiny speaker. If not for the blurbs on the front of the box (and my sick knowledge of dubbed Sailor Moon) I'd have really sworn the characters weren't using any sort of human Language. Even after knowing what they're saying though, the whole thing doesn't make any sense. Why would they be appearing in he mirror in the first place? And why would they sound so angry about seeing you, their "friend" (anyone who buys her merchandise is Sailor Moon's friend). Luna even warns Sailor Moon to be careful, is she implying little Sailor Moon loving girls are evil? That there's a monster behind you. WHAT!? What is it? Why don't the sailor senshi like me.

Normally I can find the good in one of these items, but unless you really had a hankering to hear garbled dub voices, there's really nothing good here. Just another terrible terrible Irwin Idea. Making matters worse is that this is a really rare item. So not only will you be getting a piece of crap, but you have to pay a hefty sum for your piece of crap. But really that's the joy of collecting most of the Irwin toys isn't it? Gloriously stupid Sailor Moon branded crap that no other continents got. That's something isn't it? Take that Asia! No tacky useless mirror for you! We're keeping it to ourselves over here in North America. *sticks
out tongue*

I feel so much better about owning this already. :)

~Stephanie

Live Journal and Shop Updates

Just a Quick note to say we've now got a Livejournal account whre we cross post these entries. We'll still be making them here first so if you prefer blogger's format there's no reason to go over there, but if you've already got a livejournal please feel free to friend us to see our updates there.

Also, I'm in the process of adding roughly 50 new items to our shop. We've been basically throwing duplicates in a box whenever we bought a lot and now that I'm finally getting to it, it's a lot more than I expected. I'm hoping to have that done by Monday as I want to make some cash to pay for some recent expensive purchases. So please check back throughout the weekend and don't forget to use the 27% off coupon posted in our last coupon code blog you've only got 2 weeks left to use it!

~Stephanie

Retro Review Tuesday: Fester's Quest NES

Introduction
I'm not sure if this happened to everyone, but when I was a kid sometimes it seemed as though the hand of fate simply placed cartridges in my NES collection. I didn't recall buying them or asking for them, they were just there. Sometimes I found a wondrous treasure in these foundling games, like Life Force, but sometimes I found something that should have never been found. Things no human being should have ever been exposed to, especially at an early age. One of those awful things was Fester's Quest.

Overview

Controls:

It's an NES pad and a standard adventure style game so they're simple enough. Move with the D-Pad. Shoot with B, context sensitive actions with A. Get into your inventory screen with Start. In spite of that simplicity this game manages to control terribly. The controls are very clunky and fester is pretty darn unresponsive. It would be ok that he moves like a tank if he could stand up to damage like one, regrettably nothing is further from the truth so you're going to get hurt fairly often because fester didn't move when he should have.

Graphics:
Graphically it's a bit substandard. It isn't terrible, but the limited color palette in game play screens really brings already mediocre graphics down a notch. The character sprites are a mix. Fester seems to be constantly suffering from some sort paralysis, if you've got the gun the only part of his sprite moves most of the time are his feet and if you've got the whip one of his arms moves. The alien bosses seem to be suffering from a similar affliction, though some of them can move both arms! Woo! The normal alien enemies on the other hand are actually pretty well rendered, fluid and very mobile.

Isn't that the frog from Blaster Master?

Music:

The music is one of the best parts of the game. Like all NES games it can get incredibly annoying and repetitive after awhile. Barring that, it's actually quite catchy and enjoyable most of the time. It's much more complex and interesting than your standard fare, perfect fodder for an OC remix if only someone would get around to it.

Story:

The basic concept of this game is pretty unclear going by the opening sequence,but it seems Fester is moonbathing on a clear night when a flying saucer comes by and starts abducting the townspeople including his brother Gomez. Naturally, Fester has no choice but to go out and kick some alien butt and embark on an epic quest.

Gameplay

You start off on the street with a what the game calls a gun, but looks like a gramophone horn. You wander the alien infested streets killing aliens and collecting power ups for your gun and whip. This is a lot easier in theory than it is in practice. The aliens are quite strong and a lot quicker than Fester is and it takes quite a few shots to take even the weakest creature down if you don't have any powerups for your weapon and of course to get those power ups you need to kill them. If that's not annoying enough on its own there are negative powerups that decrease the power of your weapon when you pick them up. Given that items drop almost every time you kill an enemy and that it's very easy to position yourself at an enemy respawn point, it can be neigh on impossible to avoid picking these bad drops up which is a cause for great agitation and swearing.

Why bother we designing a power up sprite when you can write "gun" and call it a day

The other things the aliens drop are:
Money: used at hot dog stands to replenish your life
Light bulbs: used to light things up
Keys: open locked doors.

They keys and light bulbs are one use items so if you leave an area and backtrack you'll have to use one again so it's a good idea to keep an eye on your supply of them.

Additionally if you visit the houses you'll occasionally meet other members of the Adams family who will give you stronger special power ups which are:

Vice Grips: which bring you back to normal speed after being slowed
Potions: which bring you back to full health
Missiles: send six missiles out towards an enemy.
Noose: summons Lurch to clear the screen on enemies.
TNT: which explodes on your enemies doing a lot of damage.
Invisibility potions: which make you invincible for a short period of time.

Frankly you'd think pugsly would look happier about the TNT

The special items are a rarity so it's best to conserve them for bosses or emergencies.


The streets are full of large gaping chasms kind of like an early version of the Silent Hill maps. So you're going to need to find away to get around them which in this case it means going underground. The underground levels are labyrinths of varying complexity and difficulty and often have stronger more troublesome monsters. Additionally if you haven't picked up light bulbs they're pitch black, save for a small pool of light around Fester, making a difficult situation worse.

Sewers in video games clearly have a dedicated cleaning crew because they're so often immaculately clean

Once you get through the underground you'll find yourself back on the town streets where you'll continue in the same fashion until you come to a building larger than most where you'll walk through another a classic corridor labyrinth until you find the door the alien boss is hiding behind.

I wish the game took this opportunity to become a corridor RPG instead but alas is does not, it's a pretty good 3d effect for the NES though.

Each boss has it's own specialty and a pattern it always follows. Once you've figured it out you're pretty much home free, though sometimes Fester's lack of maneuverability will get in your way. Most of the bosses honestly aren't much harder than the normal aliens you see around town, they just take a lot more hits to go down, but it's easier to avoid them too. Though the bosses holding shields take an almost inhuman amount of patience to finish off without getting hit.

We sure did believe in deadly bubble technology back the NES era

Once you defeat the boss you're rewarded with a clue piece and find yourself outside with full health. From there you continue on your quest which in the same fashion, wander the streets, kill the aliens, find the alien boss, kill, continue, repeat. When you've defeated the 5th boss you complete the clue which shows the UFO, you know in case you forgot what it looked like from the opening sequence... Anyway, you walk around exploring for a bit until you come to a park where you'll find the flying saucer which beams you up.

This follows the alien spaceship in an NES game rule and is filled with some sort of vaguely menacing red organic material.

The interior of the space ship plays like one of the underground levels. It is essentially a maze-like gauntlet of booby trapped, monster packed hallways leading you to the boss. The Aliens here are even stronger and faster than the ones before, so it's going to take a small miracle to get to the boss. Once you get there, things just get worse for poor Fester as this boss is quite a challenge. It has two secondary guns to distract you while it fires a volley of energy blasts which home in on your position and are quite a chore to avoid. Hopefully you've been saving your special powerups because you need them if you want to finish the battle with any sort of sanity intact.

Once you beat the final boss you get to see a loving reunion between the brothers, which consists of two, maybe three frames of animation, Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Conclusion

Fester's Quest could have made a mediocre game at best, nothing about it was great and nothing about it was awful either, at best it could have been forgettable. What pushed it into the realm of bad games is the difficulty. If you're going to make a game so unforgivably hard you've got to make it fun or interesting or pretty. Sunsoft neglected all of that with Festers quest. However, for those of us who foolishly played it as children, you can't help but have developed a vendetta. You just keep coming back for the punishment, convinced that this time will be the one where you'll finally be able to get past it and put the unpleasantness behind you. With enough patience and skill you can, but I can tell you from experience it's hardly worth doing so.


Don't forget to stop by our shop for vintage gaming collectibles:

Collection Oddities: Link Halloween Mask

It's October, and I'm a goth kid at heart so I've been trying to stick with a Halloween sort of theme for my posts. This weeks oddity post will be no different.

If You've managed to avoid looking at the title of this post I have a fun little look and find game for you. Find the terrifying oddity in this picture from our collection.




Is it that grown women have frightening number of Pokemon figures? No, everything about this is right and natural. Is it that so many bad bad Irwin ideas are clustered so close together? That is truly horrifying, but isn't it either. Then, It's certainly got to be that Mario doll in the corner that looks like something that should get Nintendo sued by the Italian American Defamation League. Good guess but still not horrifying enough.
Give up?

Let's look a little closer shall we?

Anyone got any guesses on why we've got a frightening plastic disembodied leprechaun head? Because we're sick twisted people, would be a good guess and technically a correct one, but not the droids I'm looking for. I'm looking for the answer that is the most correct, just like one of those annoying standardized tests. The answer lies behind the mask. Let's just take a peak at the tag.

It's a bit blurry because I can't keep my hands steady to save my life. It reads Link - The Legend of Zelda. 1988 Nintendo of America.

That horrifying monstrosity is in fact a deception of our favorite Hyrulean Hero, Link. Someone at Nintendo thought no one would notice if they just put some eye holes in some old plastic St.Patrick's day wall decorations and sold them as Link Halloween masks. Well, people didn't notice this was the 80's and so all costume masks were kind of like this anyway. I fondly remember going out Halloween as voltron many years and having an equally as uncomfortable unbreathable plastic mask, so I guess I can't knock it too badly. Though at least voltron looked like voltron, if you wear this people are just going to think you really enjoyed the Leprechaun series of B movies.

I got Jen to model it for the camera.


This thing is absolutely terrifying when it's on a human being.It completely covers the head and part of the neck making for some undeniably eerie doll like motions towards your companions. Those angry eyebrows and wide plastic smile don't help the situation any. Though as the wearer things aren't a lot better as there's a nagging feeling of slowly suffocating in old plastic.

Any reasonable person would make the equally as reasonable suggestion that this thing should be tossed in a fire before cursing the household. But I think we've shown time and time again that we are not reasonable people. I absolutely love this thing because it so weird and horrifying. I don't think we've got anything else that can match it's creepy factor. An object truly befitting of our oddities collection.

If you feel your life is missing one of these as of 10/31/16 we've got one for sale in our shop.

~Stephanie

Don't forget to stop by our shop:

Retro Review Tuesday: Super Ghouls N Ghosts

-Introduction-

With the playstation coming out in the mid to late nineties, the aspect of unsaveable, unforgiving games was beginning to fade away. During the days of the SNES, the early end of the decade was reserved only for those with serious will, and plenty of time on their hands. Some games will just never be forgotten long after their time, and in the case of Super Ghouls 'n' Ghosts, the struggle and pain that it put its players through will resonate with them until the end of time.

-Overview-

Super Ghouls 'n' Ghosts, sequal to Ghosts 'n' Goblins on the NES, is a side-scroller/shooter with a medieval-horror theme. You run through the levels and hurl your projectile-only weapons at zombies, demons, and of course, Ghouls and Ghosts, having nothing but a rather unreliable suit of armor and in special cases, a shield to protect you. Neither item with protect you for long, and your only true tool for survival would be the amazing maneuverability and more specifically, jumping and double-jumping capabilities of Sir Arthur, the protagonist. His quest is to save the princess he loves from the clutches of the demons. He will do this by trudging and toiling through 7 long, extremely difficult levels, a journey which can only continue as for as long as you keep your Super Nintendo powered on. And one more thing - you'll have to do it twice.

Arthur takes the phrase "kill it with fire" to heart

Graphics, Controls and Music:

Graphically, it's a pretty nice looking game with highly detailed backgrounds, vibrant colors, smooth animations, and complex level designs. However, during heavy sprite activity, the games will slow down, often times considerably. Sprites and characters are well rendered with clear actions. The controls are smooth and easy to use, with a simple jump and shoot premise, which is good as the game requires sometimes insane amounts of maneuverability to survive. The music is well composed, well executed, and quite distinctive, making it hard to forget even years after you play. Although to be fair, that could also be because of how much time you'll spend in each level before progressing.

There's a doins' transpirin'

-Gameplay-
Start up:

When you begin, you can decide to plunge with in with "Game Start" or check out the options, and see what it has for you. You can choose how many lives you get per continue, ranging from one to nine. You can also change controls and the difficulty of the game.

Playing the Game:

This graveyard seems to have been used for some sort of cloning experiments as every zombie looks exactly the same

As stated above, the gameplay is relatively simple in light of the infamous difficulty of the game. You start the game, and you're ready to go. Start running, and throw your weapon at the enemies as they come at you. Normal enemies can take anywhere from one hit to far too many to count. You can collect new weapons as you go, each with different strengths and uses. There are also pickups that award points which can help you to retain lives/continues (although it's actually rather hard to run out of continues).


Most levels have two areas, with a check point at the beginning of the second. Usually, both areas are vastly different from each other, exhibiting two very different styles of gameplay or enemies or both. There is a timer on the game, giving you just five minutes to reach the next checkpoint or to beat the level. At the end of each level there is a boss character, always huge compared to your character, and withstanding any barrage you can throw at them for a good long while. If you can manage to defeat the boss, you will be given a key to the next level. Once you've completed level seven, you will have to go back and do it all again, this time collected the Goddess Bracelet that will grant you the power to defeat the main fiend, Sardius. If you were playing on Beginner, the difficulty will be bumped up to Normal.

-Equipment-

Armor: A big part of this game would be Sir Arthur's suit of armor. Much of what makes it a big part of the game is how little it protects against attacks. As soon as an enemy or enemy projectile strikes you, Arthur will be thrown back from the impact, and his armor will crumble, leaving him in just his boxers. Yes, it's wonderfully absurd, but it also serves as a very effective feeling of powerlessness. You can still do all your same basic maneuvers, but in a game like this, it's rather a rather uneasy feeling knowing that you've got nothing protecting you from enemies, their fireballs, or just simple dangerous parts of the level, such as spikes. If Arthur suffers a hit when his armor is gone, he is instantly reduced to bones, and not surprisingly, you've lost a life.

Oh, I've wasted my life

However, you can upgrade your armor by finding better suits in hidden treasure chests. While upgrading your armor doesn't make it any more apt to withstand attack, it does significantly boost your attack abilities, turning your ordinary weapons into powerful relics of mass destruction.

Armor Levels:







Normal (Gray) - It protects you for one hit and...that's about it. Still, you feel tons safer with even this armor on then none at all. If you defeat a boss while suitless, you'll gain this one back upon collecting the key to the next level.







Green: - A ridiculously complex looking armor, it changes the functions of your weapons and makes them more powerful.









Gold - The best suit in the game, this does the same thing as the green suit and more - by charging the attack button, you can build up your power and unleash a devastating Special Attack, unique to the weapon you're wielding. It also comes with an upgradable shield which will block certain attacks just once before it too will crumble, just like your suit.

Treasure Chests: A very important part of the game, treasure chests can hold weapons, armor, shields, enemies, bear trap, or even an enemy who can change Arthur's form. Once you get used to the game, you can have a slight idea about what might be in a chest before you open it, as its usually the same order, depending on the circumstances. Chests are usually found by jumping in certain areas, or sometimes they're just given to you. You can also try to explore a corner that seems otherwise useless. Whatever it takes, once you've done the secret action, the chest will pop up out of the ground. The only way to open a chest is to strike it with your weapon until it breaks open. It seems annoying, but honestly it makes sense. After all, treasure chests are usually locked. Even if most games wish to ignore that fact.

Sure you can't use weapons now but at least you look pretty isn't that what's really important?

Weapons:

Each weapon boasts different attack power and different uses. If you know what you're coming up on, it may be pertinent to change your weapon (if you can find a new one) to what you think would be better.

Lance (Default) - The weapon you start the game with, you can
throw two in a row. It's rather slow and not considered too useful in any situation. And with its length, it's also rather difficult to avoid picking it up if you don't want it.

Upgrade: Flaming Lance - More power, but less function

Special Attack: Bolt - A bolt of lightning will strike Arthur, which he then shoots outward in both directions. Very powerful.

If  a 10 foot tall zombie pops up Arthur is definitely gonna hit it

Torch - A weapon of great power, these will fall to the ground soon after you throw them and burn, allowing you two different methods of attack. Straight-on attacks will highly damage the enemy it hits, or you can throw the torch to the ground and burn the enemy with the burning fire, which will lightly damage them many times at once. The only downfall to this weapon would be its lack of range, but that is usually made up for in its functions. Not always, however.

Upgrade: Fire Ball - Now featuring amazing power, this works just like the normal Torch, with a much large burn when it hits the ground.

Special Attack: Orbs of Protection - Three orbs will revolve around Arthur, killing weaker enemies as they touch them, and damaging strong ones. It's not complete protection however, so you shouldn't get over-confident when you use it.


Arrows - These are a little hard to use, as they always shoot at an upward angle. They have a decent rate of fire, and speed. They are thrown two at a time, with is good because an individual arrow is very weak.

Upgrade: Homing Bolts - Three of these are shot at once, and will home it on enemies for you. It's useful but sometimes one of the bolts can continuously circle an enemy for a long time without actually landing an attack, disabling you from throwing any more until it finally disappears.

Special Attack: Chest Finder - This will cause any chests in the area to appear, without having to find them, yourself.

Dagger - These are weak but have great rapid-fire capabilities, allowing you to partially immobilize stronger enemies as you bombard them with these. Since they still kill weak enemies in one hit, they are plenty useful in areas very populated with these enemies.

Upgrade: Energy Beam - These first fire as a normal dagger
and then are magically turned into a long, white beam with a nice sharp point on the end. They boast an even better rate of fire than the old ones, and are more powerful. They also pass through enemies, allowing you to hit targets in a line. A rather nice weapon for all situations.

Special Attack: Fire Dragon - Charge this up to unleash a blue-flaming dragon that will shoot out of Arthur, himself, and whip around the screen. It's a very powerful attack but the Dragon's path makes it a little hard to hit a lot of enemies with it.

It might not be the most effect special attack but it is the coolest looking

Scythe - This is a very interesting weapon, and the only one that can change directions. These can be thrown straight or downward at the player's discretion. Also, if they come into contact with an incline, they will actually travel up the hill. When they hit an enemy, they will actually strike the enemy twice.

Upgrade: Twisted Blade - Similar function to the normal Scythe, these are basically just more powerful

Special Attack: Whirlwinds - Power this up to unleash a very effective attack where two large cyclones will attack the entire screen's worth of enemies. Pretty good for clearing out hostiles.

Axe - A reasonably powerful weapon which spins in a wide circle. This allows it to hit enemies slightly above or below you. However, in tight, tunnel-like areas or inclines, this becomes a very ineffectual weapon.

Upgrade - Discus Blade - The axe turns into a huge, round object that, when thrown, flies straight up, and then forward in a very shaky motion. Very powerful, and passed through enemies so you can hit many targets with just one throw, but even more prone to ineffectiveness in even not-so-tight areas. Also, the rate of fire is slow.
Special Attack: Beam Burst - This will shoot off beams in all directions, hitting anything around you.

...Thing - Not quite sure what this is. Makes its debut in level 5, which is reasonably far into the game. These very strange items move extremely erratically, shooting straight up, going forward for a quick second, falling downward, and coming back towards Arthur.

Upgrade - Basically a stronger version of the above, but it will pass through enemies.
Special Attack: Aerial Bomb - This causes a series of explosions of energy which can effect the enemies in the area, even if they don't actually touch the blasts.

Literally everything happening in this level is terrible

Goddess Bracelet - A very important weapon, you can only get this on your second play-through of
the game. You need it to defeat Sardius, but you can collect it as early as level one. It allows you to obliterate enemies with a very, very powerful magical blast. From point-blank range this will destroy most enemies and open chests with just one throw. But it loses strength as it flies through the air, so at it's weakest state, it will prove less effective than anything when hitting targets from afar.

Upgrade: The weapon is always the same no matter what suit you wear, but it does change in deceptively significant ways. It gains more strength and range as you collect better armor for example, it can snuff out some fireballs right out of the air.

-Conclusion-

There's a strange amount of amusement offered in this Capcom classic despite its abusive difficulty. If you can muster up an admirable amount of patience, this is a game that will give you challenges to last for as long as you're willing to take them. So go ahead. Close this window. Find this game. Put in in your SNES. Turn it on. And see if you can accomplish something truly worth a lifetime of pride and boasting.

But make sure a friend is there with you, or nobody will ever believe you.


~RM


Don't forget to stop by our shop for vintage gaming collectibles:

Shop features and Birthday coupon code!

It's new month so it's time for a new coupon code! October is my birthday month. So I'm giving everyone a present. A huge 27% off coupon because I'm turning 27!

The coupon code is: Present

It expires October 31st so you have practically all month to use it.This probably going to be the biggest discount we'll ever offer for an entire month. So if you've been eyeing things up and waiting now is a great time.

I still have a lot of stuff to add to the site, but I managed to get a bunch of Sailor Moon Comics added so if you've got an holes in your collections of single issues comics head on over!

A quick tip for buying comics from us, the shopping cart doesn't calculate shipping for them correctly because of how we have to set them individually. If you want a bunch of comics submit your order, but DO NOT PAY. Send me an email instead and let me know you've submitted an order and I'll reinvoice you for the correct shipping amount even if you bought every comic on the site, the shipping would never be more than $7 and most of the time it's going to be less than $5.





We've got some rare issues like the Super hard to find issue #32 with the gorgeous Sailor Saturn cover. We searched for months to find just this issue for our collection of comics. Because it's so hard to find we have it priced at $10 but it would be $7.30 with the discount!







If Sailor Moon isn't your think a more season appropriate manga would be Uzumaki (and no it doesn't have anything to do with Naruto):


Written by horror master Junji Ito, it tells the story of a young girl living in a town descending into madness and terror. I can't say much else without ruining the plot, but it's a classic. This is just the first volume, but it's got more than enough story to let you know if you want to keep reading. It's got great old school art and solid writing. We own and have read the entire series and can highly suggest it to anyone interested in the genre. (I'll be attempting to write a review of it later this month)





Or if you're not into comics but still after something seasonal how about this fantastic McFarlane Dracula:


The detail in this figure is phenomenal as you'd expect from McFarlane. I'm using the stock image, because he's hard to see in his package, but he does come with the hanging chains, rats and bats. It's hard to imagine in our current vampire crazed, Twilight loving society, but vampires haven't always been sexy and pretty. They were seen as animalastic, bloodthirsty horrifying monsters and Mcfarlane did a fantastic job of depicting it with this figure.






Hope you see something you like. We own our own version of all the items above and they're all awesome, and we give them our highest endorsements! Besides I'd like more birthday money. ;)

~Stephanie