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Showing posts with label silent hill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label silent hill. Show all posts

Sunday, June 15, 2014

Top 10 Video Game Dads

*This is a cleaned up version of our Father's day post from last year. It's still relevant so enjoy it all over again.

In honor of Father's Day we present our top 10 list of notable video game dads. As in real life some of these dads are amazing and some of them are downright deplorable, but for better or worse these 10 are some of the most memorable.

 10. Big Daddies - BioShock Series


Big Daddies aren't really dads in most meanings of the word however, they're not just here in name alone. Big Daddies share some similarities with more conventional dads, they don't say much, they like power tools (especially drills) and they're very protective of their little girls. Unlike most dad's though they murder and maim any no good looking degenerate who gets near the little sisters. They do this in spite of the fact that the little sisters frequently emasculate them by calling them names like "Mr. Bubbles". While I think many of us don't necessarily want mechanized dads with homicidal tendencies, you have to appreciate their careful guardianship.


9. Dracula - Castlevania Symphony of the Night


Dracula obviously appears in quite a few titles in the Castlevania series, but Symphony of the Night is where you get to see his fatherly side. Unfortunately for Alucard, the main protagonist in SOTN and Dracula's son, his fatherly side is severely lacking. Dracula lets a castle full of minions attempt to kill his precious baby boy and if they cann't get the job done he eventually comes after Alucard himself. Though showing a bit of a soft side he does offer his son the chance to eradicate the entire human race alongside him, which Alucard impolitely declines. Nothing seals a father son bond like a death duel punctuated with vampiric super powers!

 8. Cervantes - Soul Calibur series


 Cervantes is one of the worst fathers ever, basically his only acknowledgement of his child is when he's beating her or attempting to consume her soul. To be fair it's a two way street, Ivy doesn't acknowledge Cervantes as her father the majority of the time and only really comes in contact with him in order to kill him. Though even if Ivy were a loving daughter,  Cervantes is a undead pirate who also happens to be a self-serving egomaniac who murders people and eats souls, it's a pretty safe bet he'd  have never shown up to her rhythmic gymnastics competitions or chaperoned her sleepovers.

7. Big Boss- Metal Gear Series


It's kind of hard to blame big boss for being a crappy father when he didn't have a whole lot of say in the whole having children, or more accurately having clones process. Still though that doesn't really excuse the crap he's put his "children" through. Poor Solid Snake in particular has a lot of experience in both dodging his fathers bullets and cleaning up his messes and his "brothers" have a nasty tendency to turn  up dead. Honestly Big Boss is a pretty cool guy, sure a little insane at times, but insane in a way most of us respect. However he's not someone you'd ever want to be related to.


6.Mike Haggar - Final Fight


 Having your daughter kidnapped by terrorists/gangsters/thugs/neighborhood hooligans is pretty much a rite of passage for any mayor. Most mayors either send out the entire city police force, immediately give in to any ransom demands or send in the one man who can stand up to a crime wave on his own. Not Mike Haggar though, he teams up with Jessica's boyfriend and his best friend to take on the criminals with his bare hands. Notably Haggar is billed as a former pro wrestler and street fight champion, so it wasn't one of those ordinary people doing extraordinary things in the face of a tragedy situations. So, it's not be a total surprise that he's  very effective at both punching his way to a lower city crime rate and  smashing his way through the punks that took his daughter. Still, Haggar is great mayor and an even better father. I think many of us wish we had a Dad who could pile drive all our troubles away.

5. Barret - Final Fantasy VII



For a man with a gun arm Barret is a pretty caring father. He spends a lot of time worrying about Marlene (and complaining about it a lot during your inter-party chats). Like most fathers he worries about how to keep her safe in a bad part of town, and what will happen to her if he's gone. A little more abnormal though, is that he's also embarking on the extremely dangerous and often deadly quest to save the world at the same time. It can be argued that leaving your child at home to mix drinks in the neighborhood bar while on an epic quest isn't great parenting. However without Barret and the rest of the party questing Marlene wouldn't have a world to live in any more, so you kind of have to give Barret a pass on that.



4.Jecht - Final Fantasy X


Jecht was a terrible father (though really, no one in FFX would be winning any father of the year awards) and basically every issue you have throughout your adventures in Zanarkand is all his fault in some way or another. It can be argued that he did make the ultimate sacrifice for good, but that really didn't make a lot of difference to Tidus who had to deal with years of  an emotionally abusive,  then physically absent father. As if several screwing up Tidus' emotional  health wasn't bad enough,  Jecht's poor parenting culminates in  him being your final boss (as Braska's Final Aeon). Clearly being the final  boss is a pretty egregious action, but Ject wasn't content just to be a really difficult boss, he also makes you fight him with the worst boss music of any Final Fantasy character ever. This makes him not only a bad father but an all around bad man.

3. Heihachi - Tekken Series


Though there have been a lot of bad dads on this list. Hiachi is the worst of the worst. Tossing your young son off a cliff would  be bad enough on it's own for any normal man. However,  Heihachi won't settle for less than the best so he follows it up by later throwing him into a live volcano. Kazuya manages to survive his father's many assaults and eventually has his own son with whom he has his own awful relationship. Being a terrible father to Kazuya and attempting to kill him on multiple occasions isn't good enough  for Heihachi so naturally he eventually decides to turn his fatherly evil on his grandson Jin as well. Wherein he spends his time constantly betraying and attempting to kill Jin (and Kazuya too when he pops up). Perhaps the thing that really makes him truly evil though, is that he appears in every single Tekken game. So  every few years his evil just keeps getting a new platform.

2. Ethan Myers - Heavy Rain


Getting one son inexplicably hit by car and following that up by getting the other kidnapped by a murderous psychopath normally wouldn't make for a great father. However, Ethan is one of the best dads ever. He probably should have taken a few more measures to keep Shaun from being abducted in the first place, but once it happens he does things to find his son most of us would never dream of. I mean I don't have kids but there are people I would die for, but I'd still have a heck of a time cutting off my own finger using unsanitary tools in an abandoned building. And that's just ONE  example of the insane things Ethan has to do to rescue Shaun. Ethan really goes the distance to not only atone for his early parenting mishap but also because he really, really loves his son and is willing to do literally ANYTHING to get him back.

1. Harry Mason - Silent Hill


Harry is the ultimate father. First he rescues Cheryl as an abandoned baby on the side of the road and raises her as his own child then 7 years later faces the worst demons and hell spawn imaginable to get her back.  Now as much as I was squawking about Ethan's seemingly super human ability to sever his own digits, I'd more sooner cut off every one of my limbs using a rusty spoon than face Silent Hill. Harry however takes the experience like a champ. In spite of being an ordinary guy with no special skills, who's so uncoordinated he  falls off stoops, harry manages to beat back the hell spawn and never lose sight of the fact that his little girl is somehow lost in this horror. Asking every reasonably human person he comes in contact with if they've seen a little girl after beating down scalpel wielding zombie nurses with a lead pipe. I personally would have probably given up on it  and just cried and/or killed myself as soon as I'd had by first experience with the rusted chain link nightmare that is the Otherside. Depending on which ending you get, how Harry's quest ends changes pretty dramatically, but regardless if you get something good or something bad, Harry never, ever gives up on Cheryl. Given the tired trope of men ignoring/and or being less loving to kids who "aren't theirs", Harry shows there's a lot more to being a father than biology.

~Stephanie

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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Top 10 Most Annoying NPCs

The video game world is rife with NPCs (Non-playable characters to those last 5 people who are unfamiliar with the term). Sometimes they're useful when like when they randomly hand over a TM in Pokemon, sometimes they just get in the way like pretty much everyone walking around in the Assassins Creed series and sometimes they're just there to provide flavor text like pretty much every bar patron in every RPG that has ever existed. Naturally by very virtue of being NPCs and doomed to stay in the same areas and repeat the same text over and over, they're going to get a little annoying. These NPCs though go beyond the norms of mere annoyance and push the limits of your gaming patience. These are the characters you'd like to pummel into a fine dust of bone and blood pixels.

10. Every female NPC - Tony Hawk 3

You can't tell here, but even wolverine is no match for the Neversoft girls.

Quickest way to ruin a gigantic combo in Tony Hawk 3? Skate too close to a girl. In contrast to the male NPCs who simply get knocked over when faced with the full force of your handstand manual coming at them, the girls reach out and give your skater slap for getting in their considerably sized space bubble. I don't know what ladies have against me getting a million point combo, but they certainly don't want to let it happen near them. Nowhere is this ladies against skating mentality more prevalent than in the cruise ship level. Impressing the Neversoft girls is one of your goals here so you've got not choice but to get near them which means you're pretty much guaranteed to have a bikini-clad lady knocking you around. I personally support total gender equality and think that the female NPCs should get the same face to floor treatment I've been giving their male counter parts for years now.

9. Laura - Silent Hill 2

One of the earliest instances of Laura hindering progress.
Silent Hill 2 is a a very cerebral mind melting experienced and one of the most popular theories about the game is that every person James meets in that little resort town is a representation of a part of his mind. If that's true,  Laura is the part of your brain that lets you lose your keys only to find the some place no earthly being would ever leave them. And like losing your keys Laura is a constant annoyance. She doesn't really do anything useful for James, unless making James feel awful (though honestly he should) is considered to be useful. Instead she constantly hinders his progress while making snide bratty remarks. I'm not going to say Laura doesn't add anything to the Storyline, like everyone else who appears in Silent hill she's there for a reason, but I hated her and wish Pyramid Head would have skewered her.

8. Lunatics - Assassins Creed

This guy is just waiting to ruin Altair's day.
There are a lot of annoying NPCs in  the Assassins Creed series and some would cite the traveling bards or the beggars as being the more annoying than these guys as there are more of them especially in later titles. But as annoying as a horde of beggars wanting to tell you just how "poor and sick and hungry" they are, they don't really do much to you other than stand in front of you. The lunatics by contrast are not only annoying and in your way, they have the unique ability to blow your cover even if you aren't interacting with them. Manage to find a group of monks to blend in with to keep the guards off your tail? Not if the roaming lunatics have anything to say about it. Should a calm quiet praying Altiar get near one of these guys they do not hesitate to give you a mighty shove knocking you soundly on your ass. This would certainly be rude on it's own accord, but for some reason guards think that if a monk gets beat up by a mentally disturbed man, that monk must be up to no good, thus blowing your cover. Of course they aren't content to simply bash your face in while you're trying to blend, they also like to knock you down in midst of assassinations and chase sequences too. While it seems wrong to assassinate these guys knowing they're really "not all there", it still feels so good.

7. Child Princess Ruto - Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time

This is some of her nicer conversation.
When she grows up she's useful to Link and has a pretty character design if you're into blue fish girls. However when, Princess Ruto is a child she's a complete pain in the ass. Somehow she managed to walk all the way over to Lord Jabu Jabu get eaten and then wander off further into his enormous innards, but pretty much as soon as Link shows up her legs mysteriously stop working and it's your job to carry the little princess around with you, find her gem and get her out of the dungeon. Naturally she gets lost or hurt or damaged or "accidentally" thrown into an orifice on a fairly regular basis and you've got to go collect her again. It's pretty standard escort mission fare, though the fact that the little brat refuses to walk makes it all the more grating. It's bad enough  that she refuses to take any personal responsibility and that she won't walk unless it's massively inconvenient for you, but she is also a colossal ass about the whole situation. She constantly berates Links about his sub-par princess rescuing abilities and his complete disregard for timely dungeon solving. While killing her as soon as she shows up would ultimately be bad for Link I kind of wish he'd gag her and leave her at the dungeon entrance.

6. Dog - Duck Hunt

These guy has ruined more childhoods than x rated fan art
The dog from Duck Hunt is the first gaming nemesis many of us can remember. He's surprisingly evil for someone who isn't considered an enemy. The Duck Hunt Dog doesn't care that you're 6 and haven't developed fine motor skills. Should you slip up and miss even a single duck amongst the endless parade that inhabits that one grassy field he laughs at you, mocking you for your failure. I think more young psyches were damaged by that awful laughing dog than any amount of playground teasing. I'm staunchly against animal cruelty so I don't necessarily condone all the games that let your murder the dog, but I would like to give him a face full of gunpowder like in the arcade version. Certainly no one can say he doesn't have it coming.


5. Almost Every Person you give your Number to - Pokemon Gold and Silver

Do not give this kid your number
If I could give anyone a single piece of advice about playing Pokemon Gold and Silver it would be to be very discerning about who you're giving your number out too. Sure sometimes some of them might have some useful information for you about a swarm of certain type of Pokemon or they might rematach for a rare item, but it's not worth it. Most of the time the want to call you and talk about absolutely nothing.Who the hell calls to tell a random stranger about their continuing failures? Youngster Joey, I am on my way to beat the elite 4 I do not care that you almost caught a tough Rattata. Maybe I cared the first time you called to tell me, I mean poor kid having a tough time with Rattata has got to be a real confidence killer. The 20th time you call though, I hope that after that level 3 Rattata defeats your pokemon, it rips out your innards and leaves you for dead, or at the very least gnaws off your dialing fingers.

 4. Roman - Grand Theft Auto IV

 
Roman is demonstrating just how big American stripper chests are

The GTA franchise has had a lot of really annoying NPCs, pretty much everyone CJ knows in GTA: San Andreas is a pain in the ass. Roman might be the biggest pain in the ass any GTA protagonist has to deal with (which is really saying something as Brucie Kibbutz appears in the same game). If it's not bad enough that Roman is constantly dragging Niko into all manner of trouble, he also wants to call constantly.  On the off chance you're not currently engaged in trying to save his ass or settle his debts or doing whatever other asinine thing he wants you to do, he's on the phone with you wondering why you're not hanging out. His calls to go bowling in the midst of a fire fight are the subject of many an internet meme, but in my experience he seemed more interested in getting drunk and going to the strip club. His timing was just as awful though, trying to escape that 4 star wanted level? Expect a call from Roman and subsequent loss in favoritism when you decline to bring the entire Liberty City police department over to pick him up. Busily playing with the Swingset glitch? Roman will not hesitate to call you while you're being tossed roughly 500 feat into the air, because if every bone in your body isn't broken it's as good a time as any to play darts! If Niko had any idea of what was in store for him he'd shoot Roman in the head immediately upon arrival in Liberty City.


3. Roy Earle - L.A. Noire

Roy looks like the self-entitled jackass he is .
All of Cole's partners in L.A. Noire have issues, they all give terrible driving directions, have a tendency to walk right into bullets while extol the virtues of staying in cover and each has his own brand of unwelcome snarky commentary. Those things would be annoying enough on their own, but Roy take things to a whole different level. Roy has particularly obnoxious commentary, he undermines everything you do and is generally a gigantic sleezebag and the sort of guy who needs a punch in the face. I can't really go into the depths of Roy's awfulness without revealing game spoilers, but trust me it's there. We spent a lot of time in free roam mode running him over with his own car feeling sad that it wasn't a more graphic death.


2. Navi - Ocarina of Time

Poor Link has no idea what he's in for.
Navi will inevitably appear on every single list of of most annoying characters. Sure Navi is trying to be helpful and let lost players know what they're supposed to be up to. This is a useful trait if you put Ocarina of Time down for a few months and totally forgot what you were supposed to be doing, this is less useful trait when she's told you the same information the 20th time during the same gaming session. Navi, I'm a little busy hunting skulltulas right now, and I really do not care what Saria would say. For someone like me who values sidequesting above all else in Zelda titles and avoids main line story for as long as humanly possible Navi is my worst nightmare. She constantly pokes and prods with her "Hey" and constantly flashing icon until you finally can't take it anymore and just move forward so you at least get the benefit of her telling you something different for awhile. I know I'm not the only one who feels like she'd be a lot more helpful if we simply ground her into pixie dust,  player hate of her is legendary. If you say "Hey, listen" roughly 90% of all gamers will turn around and punch you in the face.


1. Baby Mario - Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island

Just looking at this I can hear his godawful cries.
If you've ever read another one of my lists or anything else I've ever blogged about you know I'm a huge Nintendo fangirl. I forgave them for the virtual boy and the fact that Ocarina of Time's camera angles made me feel nauseous when I was younger. What I have trouble forgiving is following up one of the greatest games ever made, Super Mario World, with a game that is basically one long escort/protection quest. You have poor defenseless baby Mario being passed like a baton, Yoshi to Yoshi from level to level. Every time Yoshi gets hurt Mario starts to float away and is in danger of being grabbed by Kamek. Of course Mario doesn't just quietly float away, a little tone sounds (reminiscent of the low health noise in the Zelda games), but the little tone itself isn't enough, Mario also starts screaming at the top of his little lungs about it. There are few thing that are more annoying than a baby crying and I have to admit that the sound does make you haul ass over there to get Mario back as soon as possible before you stab sharp instruments into your eardrums, but it is extremely annoying. Make no mistake I LOVE Yoshi's Island it has wonderful innovative level design and is overall a really great game, but the fact is the game would have been even more amazing without baby Mario's constant wailing. Around world 3 I'm ready to pop baby Mario's bubble into the nearest bottomless pit.

So there they are the worst of the worst. Clearly there are many, many annoying NPCs just waiting to ruin your gaming experience but, these are the ones I hated the most.

~Stephanie

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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Top Ten Scariest Video Game Monsters and Villains

Continuing in the Halloween spirit we're rehashing another old,  but seasonally appropriate post:

Video games have an opportunity to provide us with horror in ways that television and film can not. A video game puts us in control. We decide our fate and we're the ones that need to figure out how to escape a deadly nightmare. Sometimes control is good and sometimes it's terrifying to literally have the power of life and death in these game worlds. On these twisted journeys through nightmares we will find monsters and villains of course, but some leave more of an impression than others.  That in mind we have compiled this list. For one reason or another, I believe that these characters have something to offer a true horror fan, even if sometimes you have to dig deep to see it. After all, horror is nothing without imagination.
The Top Ten Scariest Video Game Monsters and Villians of All Time

10. The W Star (Drahkken, SNES)


So to claim anything scary can happen in this particular title may seem odd at first, but there are a few moments that are noteworthy at least to nerds as big as we are. Drahkken is an old RPG from the early nineties which tried to utilize a three-dimensional, first person environment. It couldn't be called successful implementation (at least not in the SNES port) but did make the game unique for it's time. One aspect of the game was time change, days passed more or less normally as you were playing.  As with so many  frightening events, nightfall hit is when the terror strikes. The player would notice the many stars in the sky, shining quite brightly. As you trek forward you may notice a W-shaped set of stars in the sky,
The Monster itself
looking much like our earthly constellation of Cassiopeia. Thinking nothing of it, you continue on, when suddenly, those stars start to move, flapping up and down like a crazed bird while an eerie downward scale plays. Then suddenly you hear a loud, low "boom," and the whole world stops of a second. Then a flying creature with a skulllike head comes careening out of the sky and attacks. You inevitably think "What the
HELL is that?!" and proceed to fight this thing, hoping you're leveled up enough to take it on. This occurance actually happens with multiple sets of stars in this game bringing out different monsters.The first time we saw this though was with this set, earning the name we gave it, the W Star.  While the monster itself is certainly horror material (for 1991 anyway)  but the really element of terror comes from how bizarre and unexpected it is. Who expects the sky itself to attack you?

9. The Cyberdemon (DOOM, PC)


One of the greatest first-person bosses of all time in arguably the greatest first person shooter of all time. The Cyberdemon's level starts off with a warning, as you first enter his level their are dead Barons of Hell chained up on the wall (which, before this point your hapless space marine assumes are the baddest thing on two legs). Once you open one of the four doors leading to the exterior of his arena-like stage, and see the flaming skulls known as lost souls. Inevitably, you will sneer at this relatively simple and weak monster, and take it out with your shotgun. However, upon the first shot of your rifle ringing out into the air, you'll hear a staggering and terrifying roar from an unknown source, followed by an unknown "crash-BOOM!" sound which continuously repeats. You realize something else is here with you. And it is big. And it is coming for you. This is Cyberdemon making his presence known to you. What will likely happen next is that you will step out into the open area, turn a corner or two, and in the distance you'll see something. "What is - " will likely be all you have time to think before a missle comes flying right into your face, instantly splattering you all over Hell's floor. Although it's hard to get close enough for a look, the Cyberdemon gets his name from the steel, cybernetic right leg he sports and the rocket launcher inexplicably grafted on to his left arm. The rest of this towering hell beast includes a hooved left leg, huge black horns on the sides of his head, and all kinds of red, bloody wires sticking in and out of him. It's not good enough that all of Hell is trying to tear you apart, but now they're using cybernetic technology to do it with. What makes the Cyberdemon so terrifying is that he's incredibly large, incredibly strong, and is equipped with a one hit kill with unlimited ammo. Technically if you have 200% health, Doom Guy might take the first hit, but it's not a guarantee. Only experienced players can go toe-to-toe with this behemoth, most of you will have to run for you life, taking it whatever shots become available to you. The goat-legged Cyberdemon's discouraging endurance, terrifying attack power and horrifying looks give him a sure position among scariest video game monsters.

8. Michael Myers (Halloween, Atari 2600)


It might seem laughably improbable that an Atari game could do anything in the way of scaring you, but read on. In this game, you wander a house which is a series of  seemingly endless hallways, taking children to the safe rooms and looking for a weapon. Meanwhile, every time you enter a room (other than safe rooms) within seconds you'll be confronted by Michael Myers, with an Atari-appropriate version of the classic Halloween theme playing during his screen time, "Dee doo doo dee doo doo dee doo dee doo dee doo doo dee doo doo..." as the collection of pixels known as Michael Myers stalks towards you in a constant stabbing motion with the four or five white pixels that make up his "knife." If he gets you, you'll enjoy a rather humorous animation of your female character running frantically with her head cut off, red dots spewing from her neck. Michael will also decapitate the children if you let him, and I do mean "if you let him," as the game allows you to grab onto the children to take them to safe rooms for points, but you may also decide to use them as bait, as Michael seems more interested in killing them rather than you. So at first this isn't scary, just silly. But as levels progress, and you continue to stab Myers with the black knife, which for some reason you can only use once and then have to seek it out again, he gets faster and most aggressive until soon, you can barely outrun him. What's worse is that you'll enter rooms with faulty "wiring" causing the screen to flash from normal to pitch black while Michael's in the room with you. "Oh God, where am I?" you'll wonder and you hope to have run past the derranged mad man, only to find yourself headless once the lights come back on. With time, Michael Myers will make this one of your most stressful experiences in gaming.

7. Mr. Graves (Haunted House, Atari 2600) 


 Another Atari release. This time, you are in as the name suggests, a haunted house, trying to escape with all of the pieces of the urn of Mr. Graves. You enter the dead man's mansion and wander around, your character only being a part of eyes. You hit the button to light a match which will give you a small orb of visibility. Only with the match lit can you find items and realistically navigate the black squares and lines that make up this house.  There are a few enemies like an errant bat or two, but they're fairly easy to navigate around. So so far it's not very scary. However when entering certain floors, you may hear a noise which could be either thunder or wind. Then suddenly, the ghost of Mr. Graves appears and he blows out your match, leaving you essentially blind and helpless as he chases you down. Sure, he may look like one of those sheet-wearing ghosts from the cartoons, but this guy's not playing around. Something about the speed and frantically waving arms of this character gets you all high strung and desperate to escape. Should Mr. Graves, or any of his buddies such as the bat or spider touch you, your little eyes will violently roll around as thunder and lightning strike, costing you one life. This game is considered to be a classic and even prompted a remake on the Wii under the same name (which is somehow less frighting even with 2 years of technological advances.

6. Jason (Friday the 13th, NES) 


The Hockey Masked killer we all know and love naturally got his own video game back in the day. However it wasn't exactly the greatest piece of media you could own. That being said One thing this title has going for it, is it's undeniable ability to give you a cheap scare. The main idea was that you wander camp Crystal Lake, killing zombies, wolves, bats, and birds until an alarm sounds, indicating that Jason is attacking either the campers or a fellow counselor. You check the map to see which cabin was in distress and race to the location before time runs out. Upon reaching the cabin, the inhabitant(s) thank you for coming, and you search the cabin in pseudo-3D mode. This is where the scare takes place. As you turn corners and advanced forward, eerie but calm music would play as you found a lot of corners and spaces. Then without warning Jason appears before you. A loud and horrifying noise blares while Jason, tries to punch, slice, or axe you to death. You use whatever projectile you have to try and defeat him while dodging his attacks, repeating this entire process until he's gone. But Jason doesn't only appear in cabins. Without warning, you can be walking along the dirt road, totally care-free (as the zombies are annoying but far from scary), and them BAM - it's Jason! Hurling axes at you will sporting his baby blue hockey mask and purple jogging suit. Jason is also sometimes randomly in a cabin that isn't even inhabited. These random appearances are actually sort of the genius as being attacked totally out of the blue is something even modern games miss. Even if he looks silly, Jason IS very unpredictable and can get the jump on you like he did so many randy teenagers in his classic films. This game will never be noted for it's quality but is noted for its intense difficulty. Taking down Jason is a slow, methodical process that spans three stressful "days" and will likely be fruitless to you in the end.

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD. GAME OVER.

5. Nemesis (Resident Evil III, Playstation) 


Resident Evil III eschews some of the main mechanics in there series. Instead of slowly peeking down dark hallways in the hopes of taking out your zombies before they get close enough to rip a few chunks out of your flesh, you spend the entire game running for your life. In essence, as you play through this game, you are constantly being stalked by Nemesis, a mutated version of Tyrant, or in other words, a really big, really powerful zombie. However, unlike Tyrant, Nemesis doesn't simply rely on brute strength, he has a rocket launcher with an endless supply of rockets. We really do mean constantly being stalked. You never get a respite (other than the safe save rooms), at every point in the game you're essentially running from him, and he's never too far away. He'll burst through doors and crash through walls to get to you, all the while never quickening his step beyond a walk. There's nothing like the feeling of constantly being chased, and Nemesis will never allow you a moment of ease, making him a high ranking monster in the video game world. The fact that he's a huge, lumbering pile of rotted flesh helps as well.

4. Sae (Fatal Frame II, Playstation 2) 



All of the Fatal Frame series is absolutely terrifying.  The concept of Fatal Frame is that you are attacked by ghosts and aparitions, but you cannot attack them, merely snap pictures of them to harm them. It sounds a little silly but it's absolutely terrifying. Fatal Frame II takes things up a notch. So you take the powerlessness of that situation, tack on the detail of not having even your camera, and then include a demonic ghost child which will kill you instantly with just a touch, you've got yourself a game that even a hardcore horror fan isn't necessarily eager to try and tackle. You're in a labrynthine area full of dead ends and little hope and Sae, an evil 15 year old girl who was murdered as an act of ritual sacrifice, stalks you while eliciting horrifying laughs and a exhibiting a taste for death. Go ahead, run into a different room and close the door behind you. Sae will open it up and follow you right in there. Hide in a closet, hope for the best, but if she thinks he knows where you are, she'll open that door right up. In the split second opportunity you'll have to run, you'd better hope you don't find a dead end, or you will indeed be finished. You can't kill her, you can't hurt her, you can only run. In most instances that's just delaying the inevitable.

3. Piggsy (Manhunt, Playstation 2)

 "Holy Shit!" is probably the first thing you'll say when you face this Pig Skin wearing miscreant at the end of Manhunt. You get the Leatherface experience with this character in slightly different packaging. Piggsy is a crazed, naked man who wears a pig's head as a mask, starring in many snuff films by Lionel Starkweather, an ex direction who essentially owns the city of Carcer. If his unsettling appearance weren't enough, as you'll find while you're walking down the seemingly quiet hallway of a dilapidated attic-like area of Starkweather's mansion, Piggsy also carries a loud, powerful and remarkably loud  chainsaw. He introduces himself and his favorite toy running right at you from behind a corner, revving it up while screaming at you. Again, "Holy shit!"  This obese man somehow manages to give you a frantic and brain-scrambling chase, the chainsaw roaring hungrily for your blood. With luck you'll find a shadowed area to hide in, while Piggsy stands just a few feet in front of you, searching the area as the motor of his massive-bladed chainsaw idles, intimidatingly. Piggsy is surprisingly smart for someone who looks like he'd be too dumb to be in Deliverance, he tries trick you into dashing out into the open by revving up the chainsaw once again, even if he doesn't actually know where you are. If you're patient and quiet, he'll lumber away to search elsewhere. You'll spend the first several moments of this time paralyzed with fear. When you can blink again, you may inch out of your hiding spot and take the nearby glass shard, trying to see if you can spot the location of the chainsaw-wielding maniac in the distance. You'll turn slightly, looking in a difference, direction, completely unaware than Piggsy has once again caught side of you from another angle until that saw revs up again and he charges you. As your brain and hands freeze in horror, you hope your mental capacity return in just enough enough for you to hold down that run button and get the hell out of there....

2. Pyramid Head (Silent Hill 2, Playstation 2)

 Pyramid head is easily one of the all time iconic video game villains, and also one of the most frightening. Admittedly, fans of this guy can prove to be irksome, especially if they are mainly familiar with the movie version of him. And sure, at times he may seem a bit overrated, but anyone who's played Silent Hill 2 knows that he didn't get his reputation for nothing. This bizarre character wields a huge knife that's so heavy, even he must drag it behind him. Sure, he may be slow, but if that knife does hit you...that's it. It's over. Not only that, but he follows you for the entirety of the game, the very embodiment of punishment. You may call him Pyramid Head, you may call him Crimson Pyramid, but you could also accurately call him the Executioner. No matter where you go, he's waiting for you, an unstoppable wraith hell bent on making you pay for your sins. The giant pyramid which makes up what you know to be his head conceals intentions and thought in a fortess of mystery, as he slowly approaches to put you down for all time. Encountering him in a tight space is the stuff of nightmares, and naturally is the way in which you will most often meet him. The battle you have with him early in the game in the stairwell will have you in a death grip of stress, as you are always no more than a foot or two out of the reach of his Great Knife, vieing for any position that may or may not be available. You'll put clip after clip of bullets in his head before he finally retreats, waiting to confront you again at a later time. And that's the truly horrifying part about Pyramid head. It's not so much having to see or fight him. It's that you KNOW he's going to come back. But you won't know where, and you won't know when.

1. Sinistar (Sinistar, Arcade Coin-Op) 


 "Run, Coward! Run Run Run!" There's only one thing worse than a giant, interstellar juggernaut chasing you down and hell bent on catching and devouring you. It's hearing him tell you about it. Yes, Sinistar is the original badass of the video game world and with good reason. Never before had a video game villain had such personality and such charisma while being so unstoppable. The idea of Sinistar is that aliens are working to build a huge monster known as the Sinistar, a demonic face among a circular border which flies powerfully and without inhibition throughout the universe. To destroy this beast, you must take your tiny ship and shoot planetoids to mine crystals to make Sinibombs, made from the same crystals which are used to build Sinistar, himself. There is no time to fool around. The sounds of Sinistar's construction act as a ticking clock of sorts as you race to be ready for the monster once he is completed. "Beware, I live!" exclaims Sinistar from somewhere deep in space as he announces his own completion. You pray that you have enough bombs to smash the Sinistar as you race away, Sinistar hot in pursuit. "I hunger, coward!" He shouts, revealing his intentions. "Run, coward!" As the huge monster comes closer, you shoot off all of your Sinibombs. You hear his terrifying screams as the bombs connect. He has taken damage but a moment later you come to the heart-sinking realization that not all of the bombs connected, having been intercepted by planetoids and smaller aliens. And now Sinistar is after you, chasing you down with no distraction, no diversion, and no mercy, knocking planetoids out of his way as if they were mere marbles. He's right behind you, as you race as fast as you can into endless space, twisting and turning, unable to shake him. What will you do? The answer - nothing. You can do nothing now. Inevitably, Sinistar will catch up to you. "RAAAAAARGGHHH!" he roars as your ship spins out of control and is pulled to his mouth as if caught in a tractor beam. Finally, as you enter that terrible maw, his teeth snap snap down, shattering your ship into dozens of tiny pieces. Approximate play time: 35 seconds. It's hard to believe a game like this was available in 1982, and it's even harder to believe the cult following it still has, today. There is perhaps no game that imbodies a seemingly inescapable chase better. Perhaps no other game can instill this kind of stress and fear in the player, either. Sinistar was a game that was well ahead of its time, and Sinistar is a villain that simply can't be matched as a character or a villain. Sure, you can destroy him. But he'll be back. And one way or another...he's gonna get you. Although this character and game may not be expected by many contemporary gamers, fanw of classic gaming, know Sinistar truly deserves to enjoy the top tier of the scariest video game monsters/villains of all time. He was groundbreaking, he was legendary, and most of all...he was terrifying.


When it originally appeared this list was largely written by regular contributor Richard, this 2013 reboot has been edited with a more general tone.

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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Top 10 Horror Games

It's the Halloween season which is a time of year all of us here at Avane are particularly fond of. Unfortunately fondness doesn't translate into time or writing ideas so instead bringing you something new and spooky we're rehashing an old top 10 list from several Halloweens past. Don't let the age fool you though it's still just as relevant now as it was then. After all, when was the last time a company made a really horrifying game anyway? So if you're looking for a way to get into the spooky spirit any of the games on this list will certainly help you along.

10: Friday the Thirteenth on the NES. Most people think of this title as the awful epitome of LJN's game making career. However there's actually some genuine 8-bit terror going on here. The music is excellent, with the cabin theme taking the cake for some of the eeriest video game music of the 8bit era. The music when you encounter Jason is the perfect NES adaptation of classic theatrical killer themes. The real terror though, comes when you make your way to one of the surprisingly labyrinthine cabins never knowing where exactly Jason going to pop up until BAM! he's on your screen. If you want to know even more about the sordid tale of 8 bit Jason, we did a full in depth review on this game, because as group we really love it. Two of us even got the limited edition comic con action figure to terrorize out other action figures with his hairbrush axe.



See the rest after the break

Sunday, June 16, 2013

Top 10 Notable Video Game Dads

In honor of Father's Day we present our top 10 list of notable video game dads. As in real life some of these dads are amazing and some of them are downright deplorable, but for better or worse these 10 are some of the most memorable.

 10. Big Daddies - BioShock Series


Big Daddies aren't really dads in any normal sense however, they're not just here in name alone. Like lots of dads Big Daddies don't say much and like power tools, especially drills. They're very protective of their little girls, murdering and maiming any no good looking degenerate who gets near them inspire of the fact that the little sisters frequently emasculate them by calling them names like "Mr. Bubbles". While I think many of us don't necessarily want mechanized dads with homicidal tendencies, you have to appreciate their careful guardianship.


9. Dracula - Castlevania Symphony of the Night


Dracula obviously appears in quite a few titles in the Castlevania series, but Symphony of the Night is where you get to see his fatherly side. Unfortunately for Alucard, the main protagonist in SOTN and Dracula's son, his fatherly side is severely lacking. Dracula lets a castle full of minions attempt to kill his precious baby boy and if they don't get the job done he eventually comes after Alucard himself after he  refuses his generous offer to eradicate the entire human race alongside him.  Nothing seals a father son bond like a death duel punctuated with vampiric super powers!

 8. Cervantes - Soul Calibur series


 Cervantes is one of the worst fathers ever, basically his only acknowledgement of his child is when he's beating her or attempting to consume her soul. To be fair it's a two way street, Ivy doesn't acknowledge Cervantes as her father the majority of the time and only really comes in contact with him in order to kill him. Though even if Ivy wasn't half the problem,  Cervantes is a undead pirate who also happens to be a self-serving egomaniac who murders people and eats souls, it's a pretty safe bet he'd never be a particularly good father.

7. Big Boss- Metal Gear Series

 
It's kind of hard to blame big boss for being a crappy father when he didn't have a whole lot of say in the whole having children, or more accurately having clones process. Still though that doesn't really excuse the crap he's put his "children" through. Poor Solid Snake in particular has a lot of experience in both dodging his fathers bullets and cleaning up his messes and his "brothers" have a nasty tendency to turn  up dead. Honestly Big Boss is a pretty cool guy, but not one you'd ever want to be related to.


6.Mike Haggar - Final Fight


 Having your daughter kidnapped by terrorists/gangsters/thugs/neighborhood hooligans is pretty much a rite of passage for any mayor. Most mayors either send out the entire city police force, immediately give in to any ransom demands or send in the one man who can stand up to a crime wave on his own. Not Mike Haggar though, he teams up with Jessica's boyfriend and his best friend to take on the criminals with his bare hands. Notably Haggar is billed as a former pro wrestler and street fight champion, so it wasn't one of those ordinary people doing extraordinary things in the face of a tragedy, but  he's still very effective at both punching his way to a lower city crime rate and  smashing his way through the punks that took his daughter. Overall, Haggar is great mayor and an even better father, I think most of us wish we had a Dad who could pile drive all our troubles away.

5. Barret - Final Fantasy VII



For a man with a gun arm Barret is a pretty caring father. He spends a lot of time worrying about Marlene (and complaining about it a lot during your inter-party chats). Like most fathers he worrys about how to keep her safe in a bad part of town, though compounding things is that he is embarking on the extremely dangerous and often deadly quest to save the world at the same time. While it can be argued that leaving your child at home to mix drinks in the neighborhood bar while on an epic quest isn't great parenting, without Barret and the rest of the party Marlene wouldn't have a world to live in any more, so you kind of have to give Barret as pass on that.



4.Jecht - Final Fantasy X


Jecht was a terrible father (though really no one in FFX would be winning any father of the year awards) and basically every issue you have throughout your adventures in Zanarkand is all his fault in some way or another. It can be argued that he did make the ultimate sacrifice for good, but that really didn't make a lot of difference to Tidus who had to deal with years of  an emotionally abusive then physically absent father. Jecht's poor parenting culminates in  him being your final boss (as Braska's Final Aeon), which is his most egregious action, not just for the battle, but because he has the worst boss music of any Final Fantasy character ever which makes him not only a bad father but an all around bad character.

3. Heihachi - Tekken Series


Though there have been a lot of bad dads on this list. Hiachi is the worst of the worst. Tossing your young son off a cliff would generally be bad enough on it's own, but Heihachi won't settle for less than the best so he follows it up by later throwing him into a live volcano. Kazuya manages to survives his fathers many assaults and eventually has his own son with whom he has his own awful relationship. Being a terrible father to Kazuya and attempting to kill him on multiple occasions isn't good enough  for Heihachi so naturally he eventually decides to turn his fatherly evil on his grandson Jin as well. Wherein he spends his time constantly betraying and attempting to kill Jin (and Kazuya too when he pops up). Perhaps the thing that really makes him truly evil though is that he appears in every single Tekken game , so his evil just keeps getting a new platform.

2. Ethan Myers - Heavy Rain


Getting one son inexplicably hit by car and following that up by getting the other kidnapped by a murderous psychopath normally wouldn't make for a great father. Ethan however one of the best dads ever, while he probably shouldn't have taken a few more measures to keep Shaun from being abducted in the first place but once it happens he does things to find his son most of us would never dream of. I mean I don't have kids but there are people I would die for, but I'd still have a heck of a time cutting off my own finger using unsanitary tools in an abandoned building especially when it's just ONE of the insane things Ethan has to do to rescue Shaun. Ethan really goes the distance to not only atone for his early parenting mishap but also because he really, really loves his son and is willing to do literally ANYTHING to get him back.

1. Harry Mason - Silent Hill


Harry is the ultimate father. First he rescues Cheryl as an abandoned baby on the side of the road and raises her as his own child then 7 years later faces the worst demons and hell spawn imaginable to get her back.  Now as much as I was squawking about Ethan's seemingly super human ability to sever his own digits, I'd more sooner cut off every one of my limbs using a spoon than face Silent Hill. Harry however takes the experience like a champ, in spite of being an ordinary guy with no special skills who falls off stoops, harry manages to beat back the hell spawn and never lose sight of the fact that his little girl is somehow lost in this horror. Asking every reasonably human person he comes in contact with if they've seen a little girl after beating down scalpel wielding zombie nurses with a lead pipe. I personally would have probably given up on it  and just cried and/or killed myself as soon as I'd had by first experience with the rusted chain link nightmare that is the Otherside. Depending on which ending you get how Harry's quest ends changes pretty dramatically, but regardless if you get something good or something bad, Harry never, ever gives up on Cheryl. Given the tired trope of men ignoring/and or being less loving to kids who "aren't theirs", Harry shows there's a lot more to being a father than biology.

~Stephanie

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Sunday, May 12, 2013

Top 7 Noteable Video Game Moms

In honor of Mother's Day we present you with our list of  Top 7 notable video game moms because 10 was too hard and 5 was too few.  Warning: This list contains spoilers.

Chrono's Mom from Chrono Trigger



Mom gives you money from the millennial fair and watches your cat (or cats) while you're out saving world. She also doesn't get judgy when you bring home the anthropomorphic frog, the robot or the black mage. Thanks mom!

 Jason's Mom from Friday the 13th on the NES



As a Player, Jason's mom is bad news, great reward if you can beat her, but more likely she's just going to kill you. However you have to appreciate the dedication of a parent who doesn't let decapitation keep them from defending their son.

Eva from the Metal Gear Series


Eva is perhaps the most annoying thing about MGS3. I personally wanted her to die a horribly fiery death at the end of the game. Metal Gear 4 let me know that was no way to think as, without Eva (now going by Big Mama) there'd be no Solid Snake. Being the vessel through which we are granted the treasure which is the greatest of all those code named Snake is clearly is Eva's greatest contribution to gaming, but you also have to appreciate that she's a pretty badass old lady.

Jenova from Final Fantasy VII



Jenova isn't really the most mothering of mothers, but maybe that's because she's a been dismembered and used as experimental biomass most of the time. In spite of that she still manages to instill Sephiroth, her son,  with a fierce sense of family pride and her world domination values. Not to mention she's the second Mom on this list who doesn't let dismemberment stop her from kicking your ass.

Mom from Pokemon



Mom wants to be helpful. Sometimes this means healing your party, sometimes it means giving you running shoes. In Gold and Silver she offers to hold on to some of your hard won Pokemon dollars to save it for a rainy day. Unfortunately mom has a shopping problem and buys things like Magmar Pokedolls with your cash. It's easy to forgive her though when she forks over that rare hyper potion.

Dahlia from Silent Hill


If you're Alessa, Dahlia is the worst mom ever. If you're most of the residents of Silent Hill, Dahlia is the worst mom ever. Heck even if you're a Silent Hill Cultist Dahlia is the worst mom ever, but in a way that works for you. What Dahlia does have going for her is that she's smart, she's driven and she's really fucking evil. Dahlia might torture and sacrifice her own daughter in order to bring her frightening God into the world, but it's an admirable level of dedication to her cause. Without Dahlia, Silent Hill would just continue being a quiet resort town with no monsters, no fog, no warped reality and that would be a travesty to the gaming world.


Honorable Mention:
 

Clement Darling's mom from House of the Dead Overkill

I can't say anything about Mother Darling that can't be better explained by playing this game and if you have played it you know why in many ways the less said about her (and her son) the better. I will say that in spite of the fact that her role in the game culminates in her becoming an especially grotesque monster, it's one of the least disgusting aspects of her character. She's a mom like no other and that's a good thing.

OK so that was actually 8 moms with the honorable mention but hey it's Mother's Day shouldn't we be honoring the hard working moms of gaming as much as possible?

~Stephanie


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