Top Ten Most Hardcore Games of All Time

Sometimes when you want to test your mettle as a gamer nothing but the most hardcore intense experience will give you the adrenaline rush you're looking for. So if you've walked out of Black Mesa without a scratch, tea-bagged an army of Master Chiefs, and sent every Nazi and Nazi zombie straight back to hell, this list is for you. We've compiled a list of the 10 most extreme games ever to ever hit gaming, they'll chew you up and spit you out, leaving you crying for your mommy.

10. Katamari Damacy (PS2): Katamari puts the ultimate power of the gods in your hands, you create the very cosmos! You're tasked with taking your studded sphere of mayhem onto the earth rolling over everything in your path and crushing it into a sick twisted melange of debris, broken dreams, and lost souls. The Prince lets nothing stand in the way of his gruesome tasks, not the humans begging for their lives or the animals crying out in pain. Once you've collected enough of the detritus of earth, your grim collection is callously tossed into the sky. This macabre mass becomes the next burning star or wandering planet, with no regard for the victims are still visibly struggling to break free. Worse still, even if the prince fails in his duties, our hapless earth dwellers are given no respite, as the unimaginably evil so-called "King of All Cosmos" shoots them into meaningless star dust before sending you back out on your grisly collection quest until you get the job right.

These poor bastards never had a chance.

9. Tetris Attack(SNES): Terrifying stars, ass-whoopin' hearts, extreme rhombi, you name it, this killer's got it. Using your Panel Annihilation Device, you swap those bastards back and forth until you force three together, the resulting explosion so devastating, bits of star and heart guts fly almost right off the screen. If that weren't enough to have you on your knees, begging your God for mercy, blocks with grimacing faces slam down on top of your stack. These titans imposing their dark will on your helpless panels following devastating combo attacks from your  terrifying opponents ranging from hideous, earless dogs to one very pissed off butterfly. Only the toughest SOB's in the world will come out of this game in one piece.

It's like Lucky Charms on steroids.

8. Pac-Man 2 (Genesis/SNES): Pac-Man returns in this vicious sequel to the brutal original, and he's kicking more ass than ever before. The game starts off with infiltrating a rotting farm to rip the milk right out of a cow, and our little yellow badass continues the debauchery from there. He scales a gigantic mountain of death and braving ungodly horrifying ghosts in an attempt to pick a wildflower for little Suzy.  As you press on into the dark and dirty streets Pac-Man will do the most intense skateboarding  you'll see outside of the X Games, Find the sweetest electric guitar in Pac-land, and  the most thrilling death-defying Arial acrobatics we've seen on hang glider since Pilot Wings.  And that's only the beginning, the carnage only grows from there! The game culminates in a show down at the most horrifying place on earth, the gum factory! You've got to hit the ground running in this thriller that could arguably be called one of the most suspenseful games of all time.

Pac-Man is ready to lay the smack down.

7. Animal Crossing(Gamecube): Nintendo is well known for its profanity-laced and gory games, but Animal Crossing just may be the definitive title of the company's commitment to badassary. You're new in town and get taken for a ride by  local "businessman" Tom Nook, instantly finding yourself deeply in debt and forced into doing Tom's business. From making "deliveries", to posting "messages" in the town square, to doing a little "planting", you're in deep. But even after you've freed yourself from Nook's debt you're still scouring the town and sometimes even shaking down it's residents for goodies you sell to Tom Nook for top-bell. If you don't play by the rules, you'll find yourself visited by the town's "enforcer",  Resetti, who doesn't merely threaten to break your legs, he threatens to erase your whole life. You'll find yourself doing anything to make those sweet sacks of jinglers and ultimately survive, be it pulling rusted cans from the river, being a courier for your animal clients or using the mail in ways you never thought possible, your adrenaline is always pumping in this thrilling title where it's just you against one bad, nasty town.

Tom Nook's not running a freakin' charity here

6. Mario is Missing(SNES): A quest around the world turns into a quest into hell for Luigi as he tries to track down his brother Mario who's gone missing under mysterious circumstances. Luigi finds himself face to face with the sleazy chicks and big studs roaming the mean streets of Paris, Rome, and Beijing. They're been watching and they're waiting for him. They're primed and ready to pounce, educating your sorry ass on any number of horrifying ancient artifacts before turning you back out onto the mean streets. Surviving these encounters is only the first step, so you'd better hope those facts were beat into you because only a grueling quiz will allow you to continue your search. If you fail you've got to restlessly hit the streets again until you "learned your lesson". History isn't here to repeat itself, this time it's just here to kick your ass.

Luigi has to separate the double talk and code words from the truth.

5. Mario Paint: Painting. Animation. Music Composing. Flyswatting. Arguably four of the most hardcore activities ever conceived by our sick ancestors collide in a fiery explosion of utter chaos with a Marioesque twist. Using pens, spray cans, flood filling and even more devastating tools, the player splatters a image on the screen with such reckless abandon, it's a wonder how they manage to stay upright. The truly insane will take it to the next level, stringing together their unholy imagery, using what can only be described as the blackest of magic,  to make it MOVE before their very eyes! If they get through the animation alive, it's time to put some music together, using cats, tugboats, baby heads and even more diabolical objects to concoct a frenetic cacophony that stretches the very limits of extreme. The perverse technology utilized in this maddening title allows you to take that painted image, take that animation, take that song you created and put it all together in one messy, dripping, hanging-off-the-bone collaboration of utter chaos that's certain to destroy the senses of even the most hardened gamers. And you haven't even gotten to the game where you swat bugs, yet.

Mario Paint? More like MARIO PAIN!

4. Barbie's Vacation Adventure(SNES/Genesis): One would think a game about a super model would deal with the horrors of eating disorders, drug addictions or sleazy industry insiders. But the early Barbie games eschew those stereotypes and bring you even more edgy fare. From Navigating the twisted world of Barbie's dreams in Barbie on the NES, to watching American's first badass woman claw her way to the top of the Fashion World, in Barbie's Super Model. None of the titles are for the feint of heart, but for the true badasses among us, Barbie's vacation adventures kicks things up a notch. This title opts for an expose of what happens when a super model is left alone in the backwaters of America. From the unsettling Deliverance-esque setting of the Iowa county fair where Barbie is watched silently by unseen farmers as she's forced to run after a loose pig in order to gain admittance to their "carnival games"  where she must win the freedom to move on. To her terrifying experiences in the dark and menacing woods of Wyoming where she's attacked by wildlife tossed into a powerful rushing stream, left cold, wet and frightened. When Barbie manages to escape back to her California Mansion the Nightmare deepens when she's faced with a clearly demon-possessed Ken who speaks only in riddles, and enters and exits rooms in ways that can only be attributed to dark powers. Once she's bested Ken's mind games, you're rewarded with a series of unexplained still shots leaving you with a myriad unanswered questions, but too scared to draw your own conclusions.

I bet I can make ya squeal like a piggy

3. Reel Fishing (PS1): The unbridled INTENSITY of brooks, ponds, and the big daddy of all fresh-water angling - THE LAKE can be matched only by the extreme monsters that live in these intense environments, THE FISH!! In Reel fishing, these swimming demons didn't care who you are or where you came from. If you come to their water with a pansy stick and weak thread, you'll lose your bait, your hook, and your dignity. The Char are sinister, the bass are brutal, and the cutthroat trout are just plain bad. At times you can't tell if you're fishing or fighting in a prison riot. All of this mayhem is set to a KILLER soundtrack that will kick your sorry ass even harder than the bitterling!

The true face of evil

2. Seasame Street 1-2-3: Ernie's Magic Shapes and Asro Grover (NES): This cartridge gives you a double shot of power with 2 hardcore games stuffed into one package. Think you know a square when you see it? Think circles are something to sneeze at? Well tough guy, Grand Wizard Ernie's got a few trapezoids for your punk ass, and if you're not careful this manic magician's gonna stick 'em right where the sun don't shine. And whatever left of you certainly won't have a chance in hell of crafting that train. So if triangles have a way of making a wuss out of you, perhaps you should try your luck with with the numbers, courtesy of Spaceman Grover. Astro Grover is like a mathematical punch to the face. Counting little green men might seem easy enough for you, but try developing a ghetto city-block with the power of math alone. You'd better have your head screwed on right, because if you fail to count 7, let me tell you buddy, your luck's run out. That moon over the city does not tolerate failure and not even NASA can save you from a run in with the Lunar Lunatic.

YOU GONNA GET IT!

1. Flower (PS3): Only a Hardcore system like the PS3 could bring you the most hardcore game the world has ever seen. In flower you control one of the most destructive forces on earth, the wind. Flower is for hardcore gamers only, so it doesn't mess around giving you a bunch of needless instructions or text to read. You pull yourself up by the bootstraps and forge your own way through the game's harsh environment as you learn to harness the deadly power of nature. You start by using your power of the gales to tear apart every flower  ripping off their petals and leading them on a death march through desolate fields, past terrifying turbines and culminating in ripping through a decrepit cityscape. Flower's intelligent soundtrack changes tone and intensity with every heart-pounding, anxiety inducing move you make, adding a layer of extreme intensity like nothing you've experienced before. You might think you're a gamer but no amount of experience PvP sniping, Zombie Killing, alien dismembering or street hustling can prepare you for Flower.

Make those whirling blades of death dance!

So this April 1st challenge yourself to earn your gamer cred by playing one of the above games and go down in history as one of gaming's hardcore legends.


~Stephanie and Richard


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Retro Review: Pac Man 2: The New Adventures

Today's game is one I recall spending many happy hours playing with my siblings, Pacman 2: The New adventures. It was released on two platforms, the SNES and the Genesis. I prefer the Genesis version because of some small sound differences so that's the one I'm basing my review on.

Introduction
The team at Namco, drunk on the riches of the enduring success Pacman, decided that 1994 was the year they'd finally make a numbered sequel* to their ubiquitous arcade hit. Fourteen long years the fans waited to lay eyes on an updated, innovative title and Namco devised and delivered a unique experience.

* it's worth noting that the numbered part only corresponds to the western release of the game, it's called Hello Pac Man in Japan.

Overview
Apparently taking place sometime after Pac-Man's initial and bumpy foray into "normal" life, Pacland, Pacman 2 sees Pacman ready to put his wild days of wandering confused through dark labyrinthine hallways trying to get his pellet fix. He's managed to shake off his old ghost dealers cleaned up his act settled down in a nice neighborhood with Ms.Pacman, their two children and the family dog. Sadly it seems that years of unchecked pellet abuse have lefts Pac-Man's mental state a bit lacking. He's incapable of doing even the most basics task without guidance from the unseen omnipotent entity.

The controls for this game are simple. A shoots a power pellet, B uses the normal slingshot and C makes Pacman look in normal city areas or do the special action if you're in a mini game screen. I can't really say how smooth and responsive they are because you aren't controlling Pacman directly but, I haven't noticed any significant lag or any other problems of that sort.

On the surface it's graphically about the same as any other well rendered game in this time period with big, bright, cartoonish backgrounds and sprites. Once you've played it for awhile, you realize that this game is in fact a fantastic graphical feast of physical comedy. Pacman has dozens of animations, almost all of them hilarious. Pac-Man's follies and triumphs are each accompanied by a series of fantastic facial expressions and actions. The kind of stuff you'd expect to see during a looney tunes short only funnier. This game could have been aptly titled "The Many Faces of Pac" as that's what you really grow to associate with the game.

Sound wise the game is great, all those aforementioned expressions and animations have appropriately absurd sound bites accompanying them and the music pairs perfectly with the vintage cartoon feel.

Gameplay

The game starts off with a brief tutorial on how to play. Normally forced tutorials are insanely annoying, but not having complete control over your character is going to be a bit jarring for most gamers making this one pretty useful. Once Pac-Man feels you've gotten a handle on things you'll start the game with a cutscene of Ms. Pacman and Pacman at home with Pac-baby, she tells Pac-Man to get more milk.This initial mission sets the tone for the tasks Pac-Man needs you to help him complete.

The main plot of the game is getting Pac-Man to check off his family's to do list by hitting him with a slingshot. It's fun ans easy enough for the first 10 minutes or so but after that you'll have probably made Pacman look at/walk past/be in close proximity to something that either makes him sad or angry. Whenever Pacman is less than jovial you start to see more of his unruly, disobedient nature come out. He rarely will look at things and your slingshot becomes ineffectual. When this happens, you're stuck until Pacman "dies" ,which will happen quite a lot when he's angry,  or until you find something that makes him happy again. Unless it's one of the  few times when you need him to be in a less than happy mood to properly accomplish a task. Keeping track of Pac-Man's moods is simple enough in theory but it can get really annoying rather quickly. If you've put Pac-Man in the wrong mood for a certain task and end up having to restart it's not much of a problem because you've got infinite chances to start over. However, when you really want to progress being able to do it over again won't help to stem the tide of rage that washes over you with each of Pac-Man's inept actions. There is a saving grace which is that some of Pac-Mans most amusing actions happen when he's extremely angry,  and the game is short so there's no need to rush forward anyway.

As Pacman progresses and completes each task, it becomes clear that he still hasn't fully escaped the beady little eyes of Inky, Blinky Pinky and Clyde. The ghosts will pop up from time still trying to exact their revenge on the round yellow menace. This time they've got the Ghost Witch aiding them. She sets up headquarters in the ABC gum factory and hatches a variety of plans to help the ghosts thwart Pac-Man's plans while working on her insidious gum monster for reasons that are never completely clear. Ignoring he murky motives, under her tutelage the ghosts have learned to assume disguises and that's how you'll see them when you encounter them whilst wondering the town. For the most part these town encounters are only triggered when you interact with the disguised ghost so you can wait until you've got a power pellet handy to become super Pacman and take care of them with ease.
When you e
ncounter them while doing one of your mini game they cause a much larger issue. They don't bother with their silly disguises this time, instead they focus on using a variety of nasty props to stop Pacman's progress. Unfortunately this time you can't just give Pacman a super pellet to take care of the issue. Instead, you'll have to be pretty vigilant about giving him directions, these encounters are easily the most challenging portions of the game.

When Pac-Man's tired of ducking the ghosts he can take a break at one of two arcades in the city where he can play an updated version of the original Pacman and, if you've found the secret cartridge pieces, Pac-Jr (which is really just a hack of Ms.Pacman).

Once he's done reminiscing about the good ol' days he finishes up his task list and sits down for some relaxing TV watching only to be presented with a news report on how the ghosts and the gum witch have been stealing gum from children all over town. Even more shocking the witch herself takes over the broadcast and calls out Pacman specifically. Pac-Man's machismo can't allow for that sort of public mockery of his skills to pass without incident, so he heads down to the gum factory to teach the witch a lesson. What happens once he arrives there is mostly up to your quick reflexes with the slingshot. If you're successful you become a hero, If you screw it up well, you can't really die in this game, discounting of course when your turn of the game in anger without first taking down the password.

Conclusion

Pacman 2 is not a great game when you look at it by normal gaming standards. It's short, it's got crazy controls, and a fairly small environment. However, it's cartoonish story and cinematics make it highly entertaining. It's unique elements can get frustrating but, if you're not trying to progress you will learn to love them. Failure is honestly one of the most memorable and enjoyable parts of this game, yielding some of the most humourous sounds and animations seen in any game. Besides, any game where you can learn to embrace your failures and even welcome them is one definitely worth giving a try.

~Stephanie


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